Shake off the "expert" prerequisite - You have a right to enjoy the learning curve
By Nora Takieddine, February 18, 2014
Ever notice yourself holding back from trying something you’re excited about because you’re not an “expert” on the subject? Ever hear yourself say “what the heck do I know?” and then giving up before you’ve had a chance? How often have you disqualified yourself from running for something that you would love to do? And when you did try, how many times did you berate yourself for making a mistake or not getting it perfectly right from the get go?
I’ve heard many people shy away from going for their dreams because they were worried of fumbling and falling. When did being an expert on something become the criteria for allowing ourselves to try it out? At what point did we impose mastery as the prerequisite to jumping into the game and just having the experience? Somehow, many of us have denied ourselves our right to the learning curve. Not only that, we’ve denied ourselves our right to enjoy wherever on the learning curve we happen to be.
Imagine where you’d be if you disqualified yourself from walking because you didn’t know how. You would never walk. Can you think about it? Think about the first day you started walking. That wasn’t the day you became a graceful flawless expert on walking. That was the day you were an expert about enjoying the sheer joy of trying to stand, of looking ahead and wanting to take that one wobbly step forward believing, eagerly, excitedly, that forward you would surely inevitably go. With all the stumbles and falls, you did not know to stop. You did not think to criticize yourself for falling. You did not believe that you had to be an expert before you even tried. You were simply enjoying every aspect of that moment, discovering yourself as your went along. And what was beautiful then, so was everybody else. Parents and caretakers surely applauded and cheered you on.
At some point, things change.
Suddenly, we have to be experts, instead of explorers going for it for the pure pleasure of the internal drive that wants to go for it. Even the way others relate to our learning curve changes. Suddenly, the celebration is not at every part of the journey, but only when we reach the very top. All the glory that can be enjoyed on the way are neglected, forgotten and belittled. At some point, this dry and critical attitude became the standard for how we experience life. So much richness is lost, simply unacknowledged, along the way. Enthusiasm gets drained or repressed because there’s no room for error. I say, it is high time we released ourselves of this way of relating to our journey.
Some of the most successful companies today have noticed that the fear element of feeling not good enough is costing them their employees creativity and sense of initiative. They are encouraging a paradigm shift in how we relate to the journey and process. I recently attended a conference at a prominent company in Silicon Valley and saw a poster that read “Fail early. Fail often”. The message was clear: “failing” is ok. Removing the fear of failure creates fertile grounds. Each “failure” is rich with learning possibilities, growth, creativity, and enjoyment.
We all have critics inside us. The voice of our inner critic can be useful, but he or she should not be in the driver’s seat of your life as too much is lost when we deny ourselves our right to enjoy the learning curve and to “fail” often.
So, next time you notice yourself backing out from taking a step because you were unsure you could do it, remember your first steps as a toddler. Who knew that that first wobbly step with hands flailing excitedly would one day grow to a confident stride? You did. So here’s to doing something simply for the pleasure of doing it – because your heart longs for it – and for the joy of riding the learning curve.